20 Things Life Is Too Short To Tolerate

You don’t have to settle, it’s simply a choice you make every day. If you feel like you’re running in place there’s a good chance you’re tolerating things you shouldn’t be. It’s time to reclaim your life.

Starting now, stop tolerating…

1. People who bring you down. – Relationships should help you, not hurt you. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded.
2. A work environment or career field you hate. – Don’t settle on the first or second career field you dabble in. Keep searching. Eventually you will find work you love to do. If you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re on to something big. Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions.
3. Your own negativity. – Be aware of your mental self-talk. We all talk silently to ourselves in our heads, but we aren’t always conscious of what we’re saying or how it’s affecting us. Start listening to your thoughts. If you hear negative thoughts, stop and replace them with positive thoughts.
4. Unnecessary miscommunication. – Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Speak clearly. Ask questions. Clarify things until you understand them.
5. A disorganized living and working space. – Clear the clutter. Get rid of stuff you don’t use. Read David Allen’s book Getting Things Donefor some practical organizational guidance.
6. Your own tardiness. – Get up 30 minutes earlier so you don’t have to rush around like a mad man. That 30 minutes will help you avoid speeding tickets, tardiness and other unnecessary headaches.
7. Pressure to fit in with the crowd. – Oftentimes, the only reason others want you to fit in is that once you do they can ignore you and go about their business. Don’t conform. Be you, because that’s the only person you can be.
8. An unhealthy body. – Your health is your life. Don’t let it go. Eat right, exercise and get an annual physical check-up. The 4-Hour Body is an insightful and entertaining read on this topic.
9. Fear of change. – Life is change. Every day is different. Every day is a new beginning and a new ending. Embrace it and make the best of it.
10. All work and no play. – Enjoy yourself and have a little fun while you can. If you’re smiling, you’re doing something right.
11. People or beauty ads that make you feel inadequate. – Good looks attracts the eyes. Personality attracts the heart. Be proud to be you. You are already beautiful.
12. Not getting enough sleep. – A tired mind is rarely productive.
13. Doing the same exact thing over and over again. – You are the sum of your life experiences. The more you experience, the more interesting your life story gets.
14. Personal greed. – Don’t let greed and deceit get the best of you. Greed will bury even the lucky eventually.
15. A mounting pile of debt. – Always live well below your means. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need. Always sleep on big purchases. Create a budget and savings plan and stick to them. Read I Will Teach You To Be Rich.
16. Dishonesty. – Living a life of honesty creates peace of mind, and peace of mind is priceless. Period. Don’t be dishonest and don’t put up with people who are.
17. Infidelity. – Intimate relationships are a sacred bond – a circle of trust. If both parties aren’t 100% onboard the relationship isn’t worth fighting for.
18. An unsafe home. – If you don’t feel safe at home you’ll never feel safe anywhere. Build a loving household in a safe area that you are proud to call ‘home.’
19. Being unprepared. – Life is unpredictable. And there’s a big difference between being scared and being prepared. Always be prepared.
20. Inaction. – Either you’re going to take action and seize new opportunities or someone else will. You can’t change anything or make any sort of progress by sitting back and thinking about it.

And remember, you only live once, but if you live it right once is enough.

Self-Acceptance & Personal Growth

How do you balance self-acceptance vs. the drive to grow and improve yourself? On the one hand, it’s a good idea to accept yourself for who you are… faults and all, right? But on the other hand, isn’t it also a good idea to set goals and aim for something even better than what you already experience now? How do you resolve this conflict?

Is compromise really the best solution?

I believe most people simply compromise. They don’t fully accept themselves as they are, but nor are they fully comitted to lifelong growth. I think that’s a lame solution though. Why not have both? Why not fully accept yourself as you are and also be totally committed to lifelong growth? Can’t you enjoy both? Is there a way around this apparent conflict?

I often receive feedback, both publicly and privately, that suggests that because I’m so openly committed to personal growth (which should be obvious to anyone who spends more than a few minutes perusing this site), that therefore I must not like and accept who I am right now. It’s assumed that since I keep pushing myself to grow in new ways that I must be sacrificing the self-acceptance side.

The linear mindset

Why does there seem to be a conflict between self-acceptance and growth anyway? I think the conflict is actually a result of a particular mindset. I’ll refer to it as the linear mindset.

The linear mindset says that your life is like a point moving down a line segment. Your life is a journey through time. The end points represent your birth and death. The points behind you are your past. The points ahead of you are your future. And your present moment is a little dot on that timeline, slowly inching its way towards your death.

Every point on your life line can also be said to have a certain quality. You can look at any point on the line and measure your instantaneous state at that point. On any particular day of your life (past, present, or future), you can pose questions like: Where do I live? What’s my job? What’s my net worth? Who are my friends? What’s my relationship status? How much do I weigh?

Self-acceptance vs. personal growth

Within this paradigm it’s only natural that the conflict between self-acceptance and growth should arise. Once you start labeling some points of your life as being of “higher” or “lower” quality than others, then you have the means to compare any point to any other. How does your life today compare with your life five years ago? Are you richer? Happier? Healthier?

Now you have to decide how much you want to push things to improve in quality as you progress through life. You can accept your current position as adequate and opt to simply maintain it, or you can strive to achieve something greater. You can also adopt the belief that your life is largely out of your control, in which case your best bet would be to learn to accept whatever outcomes you experience, regardless of how you might rate their level of quality.

The more you accept where you are, the less motivation there is to grow. And the more you push yourself to grow, the less satisfaction you derive from your current position. You might end up oscillating back and forth along this spectrum, sometimes being very complacent and other times being very driven.

Limitations of the linear mindset

The linear mindset is very common, especially in the Western world. We love to measure things and assign them grades and ratings. Which car is the most fuel-efficient this year? Is company X more profitable than it was last year? How fit and healthy am I?

And that mindset certainly has value, especially in business. I’m not suggesting that it’s an inherently undesirable paradigm.

However, there are areas where this model works, and there are areas where it doesn’t. And one of those areas where it doesn’t work so well is your self-image.

Trying to apply the linear mindset to your self-image creates the conflict between self-acceptance and growth. Instead of merely measuring various aspects of your life and noting how they change over time, you identify with them. I am richer than I was last year. I am more depressed than I used to be. I went from being a telemarketer to being a sales manager.

When you identify with the positional aspects of your life, you pull your ego into the picture. Your sense of self then becomes dependent on your particular position.

If you primarily think about life in terms of hitting new highs, such as better health, greater net worth, or a more anal job title, then what happens when you experience a setback in your position, maybe even a big one like being charged with a felony?

We all experience setbacks. It’s only a matter of time. If your self-esteem is based on your position, then you’ll suffer greatly when your position declines. What would it do to your self-esteem if you lost all your money? What if you gained 50 lbs? What if your life mate dumped you? If you lose your position, will you lose your sense of self?

Even more problematic than a real loss is worrying about the possibility of a loss in advance. You may hold yourself back because you fear becoming too dependent on a certain position. If you stay low, you don’t have far to fall when things go bad. Gaining a few pounds over the holidays isn’t as painful when you’re already 50 lbs overweight. Going broke isn’t so terrible when you only have $1000 to your name vs. if you’re a multi-millionaire. And how much worse can your relationship situation get if it’s already lousy (or nonexistent)?

Perhaps by setting up camp in mediocre land and staying far away from super-achiever, you’re protecting your ego from inevitable setbacks. You know that even the most successful people in the world experience setbacks, so why would you risk subjecting yourself to such dramatic highs and lows? What goes up must come down, right?

The underlying problem is that by rooting your sense of self in something that will fluctuate, like the current position of any measurable part of your life, you’re going to suffer in one way or another. Either you’ll push yourself to achieve, achieve, achieve, and then suffer emotionally when things take a turn for the worse, or you’ll become attached to outcomes to an unhealthy degree, such that you may sacrifice your ethics to maintain your position. Or you’ll settle for much less than you’re capable of achieving and probably give yourself regular beatings for being too lazy and for over-procrastinating – you’ll always be haunted by the knowledge that you could be doing better. Or lastly you may decide to withdraw from society in order to escape/transcend this whole punishing process; but still your contribution is far below your potential.

Beyond the linear mindset

This whole situation is basically win-lose, isn’t it? You have to compromise somewhere. You can’t play the positional growth game full out and still accept and enjoy every moment along the way, right?

Or can you?

Let me suggest an alternative paradigm.

Instead of rooting your sense of self in your position, which is changeable, what would happen if you rooted your sense of self in something permanent and unchangeable? Stop identifying yourself with any form of positional status, and pick something invulnerable instead… like a pure concept that nothing in this world can touch. Examples include unconditional love, service to humanity, faith in a higher power, compassion, nonviolence, and so on.

I’m certainly not the first person to suggest something like this. Stephen Covey wrote about this in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He refers to it as true north.

When you root yourself in unchangeable ”true north” principles, you may still measure the various metrics of your life and notice how they change over time, but you won’t make them part of your identity. Hence, you keep your self-esteem separate from your particular circumstances.

This isn’t easy to do. Covey himself has admitted how difficult it is for him personally. But you don’t have to be perfect to get results from this paradigm. Even a small move in this direction will reduce the conflict between self-acceptance and growth. Essentially you’ll gain the best of both worlds.

Separating position from identity

By rooting yourself in the permanent, your position detaches from your identity. This makes it possible to unconditionally accept yourself as you are while still courageously playing the positional growth game, regardless of the outcome. Self-acceptance and growth are no longer in conflict because now they don’t apply to the same thing. You’ve separated your identity (self-acceptance) from your position (growth).

Covey’s true north principles are based on effectiveness. Mine are based on fulfillment, so they’re slightly different, but there’s certainly a lot of overlap between them. For example, one of my principles is service to the highest good of all. This is close to Covey’s principle of thinking win-win. Either version of this principle is independent of position. You can be homeless and forgotten, or you can be rich and famous, and you can still do your best to serve the highest good of all and to think win-win. These principles do not depend on circumstances; circumstances only affect the manner in which you’d apply them.

Detaching ego from outcomes

If I were to look at a snapshot of my life right now, I’d rate it as excellent in terms of its positional (i.e. growth-related) aspects. Last week three of my articles were featured on the popular list on del.icio.us (one of them in the #1 spot), two were picked up by reddit, two got digg‘d, one got fark‘d, one got furl‘d, and one got spurl‘d. I received 320,000 visitors and 664,000 page views that week, and I topped my one-day Adsense record too ($330.69 on April 12). On Thursday I did a magazine interview, on Friday I did a nationally syndicated radio interview, and on Saturday I joined the Las Vegas National Speakers Association and went to my first meeting (Lou Heckler was the guest speaker). Later today my family and I will enjoy an Easter picnic in the park with some friends, and I’ll spend the rest of the day having fun and relaxing. Positionally everything is wonderful. Lots of higher highs.

But if I let my self-esteem and my identity get too wrapped up in these external outcomes, I’ll be setting myself up for ultimate failure. When the pendulum swings the other way, and of course it eventually will, I’ll get frustrated with my less than stellar performance. And from there it’s a slippery slope into the realm of ego-driven attachment to outcomes. What will happen when my traffic or income takes a nosedive at some point? I’ll either resist accepting my present situation, or I’ll withdraw into a shell and settle for mediocrity for a while, or I’ll put on a fake front and pull an Enron. None of those are good solutions.

The solution is upstream… to keep identity and position as separate as possible. I find that a couple practices help a lot with this: journaling and meditation. I’ve been doing both for many years, and these practices help me keep my internal compass aligned with true north principles that aren’t going to change within my lifetime. I keep my sense of self rooted in permanent concepts like service, awareness, and peace. Those concepts don’t change, so my deepest sense of self remains fairly fixed. That makes it easier to fully accept who I am in every moment. But on the positional side, I’m still able to enjoy the pursuit of positional growth and play full out without settling for underachievement.

If I stray from these practices for too long (more than a few weeks), I gradually fall out of alignment with true north. I eventually get sucked back into the prevailing social climate that loves to identify people with their positions. For example, while I was doing my polyphasic sleep experiment, some people started identifying me with polyphasic sleep. And that’s OK until they start becoming too attached to that person-position pairing. Positions are always temporary, so it’s best not to become overly attached to them… whether in yourself or others. It would have been problematic if I fell into the trap of letting my ego become overly attached to my position as a polyphasic sleeper. The ego resists positional changes it perceives as negative — it doesn’t like to be wrong. So I might have clung to polyphasic sleep even when it didn’t serve me as well as monophasic sleep.

Have you fallen into any person-position pairing in your own life? Do you derive your sense of self from things that are changeable and vulnerable, such as your income, your job title, your relationships, or any other form of status? How much energy are you investing in defending those positions out of fear?

When you loosen your attachment to positions, you don’t have to defend them. I disliked when people started giving me labels like “the internet king of polyphasic sleep” (not my words)… because if you’re a king, then you’ve got a kingdom to defend. People like to attack kings simply because of their position as kings. I’d rather not be perceived as a king of anything positional, since I don’t want to spend my time defending temporary positions that are eventually going to crumble anyway. Trying to defend your position as if it were the real you is a losing battle. None of the positional aspects of your life are going to endure, so it’s best not to become too attached to them. Enjoy them while they last, but don’t seek your self in them.

When you root your self in something permanent, then your sense of self is effectively untouchable. Your position can be attacked, and you can still defend it if you like, but you won’t feel irrationally compelled to defend it out of fear. You won’t feel you’re being personally attacked when your position becomes vulnerable.

Enjoying inner peace

What I’m really getting at here is inner peace. When you keep your sense of self away from third-dimensional positions, your position can rollercoaster all over the place, and you can still be at peace on the inside no matter what happens. You don’t have to withdraw and be totally passive. You can enjoy being an ambitious overachiever and set and achieve goals like a maniac — and have a great time doing it. But meanwhile you don’t seek your identity in those fluctuating outcomes.

If you find yourself succumbing to the ego-position trap, add some practices to your life like meditation, journaling, time with kids, time in nature, and so on. This will help you reconnect with what’s most sacred to you (your own version of true north principles) and keep your identity separate from your position. Then you can experience drive without attachment, ambition without ego, and peace without passivity.

Self Image, the fulcrum of Brain Power

Your Self Image Is The Fulcrum Of Your Brain Power.

It is your self image that determines your life's box of possibilities.

The secret of the power of your brain is your self image, it is the fulcrum of your mind. At -2 brain level you have an abnormally self centered brain. Your brain's focus is centered on trying to look for signs and trying to become the only one that counts. Though you may know the importance of others you don't get it. The only thing you understand is your own extreme self importance. You are so self absorbed that when it comes to learning you are careless and don't pay much attention to the teacher as you already think you know more than her. Therefore you live by an impractical world view and are out of tune with actual reality. Your personal reality enables you to misread your life situations and as a result your are a complete failure. You become a total dependent on your family and society. Your self image forces you to either become a criminal, a psycotic, a murderer or one fit for the mental asylum. Your self image completely rules your mind. At -2 even your omnipresent fee.

At -1 brain level you realize that you are one of many. At this level you have given up your feelings of being omnipresent. But your feelings of being extremely important; a diluted version of feelings of being omnipotent still linger. This gives you a self image of being extremely important. Sometimes you pay attention to your studies and sometimes you don't. You feel that you deserve the most of everything. And that your total dependence on your parents is only temporary and that your time will come soon. You have a privileged self image and the laws of the land you fear only for not getting caught and the shame of being known as a criminal. Your self image forces you to become a corrupt being. You know the laws of the land but you don't understand them. All you understand is your need to get ahead by hook or by crook. Your self image still rules your life.

At +1 your self image is powered by the belief that you are the best. This self image is planted by your parents. They want to see their own dreams come true through your successes. So they push you to have an over confident self image which results in your having a trophy self image. So you spend your life trying to acquire bigger and bigger trophies in life. You seek your happiness in accumulating as much wealth as possible. Real time and real life is neglected. Your family is neglected. Your life's box is determined by your over confident trophy self image.
You get the importance of learning the ropes of life and the importance of education so you do focus on your studies and become highly educated. But your trophy self image dominates your life and gives you unhappiness and your material pleasures are somewhat phony and in spite of all your successes you are not fully happy.

At +2 your self image and you are on the same page. Your pleasures, your life are all real. You know exactly your place in the world as one who is privileged to have a real life; and you know, understand and are your true self. You see everyone else as your own extended family. You have no greed or hunger for success for it's own sake. You focus on life at hand. So when you study you study with full focus. You know exactly that any amount of study is never enough. So you study and study and go on to researching the subject of your interest. You over prepare for life.

So to improve your powers of life. To make your pleasures genuine create the best possible fulcrum of your mind. Create a +2 super mature fulcrum. Create your self image that is the real you; your self image is the key to wisdom, the key to your brain power. So learn to change your fulcrum, learn to change your self image. Please read the related knols.

At -2 it is all me, me, me. The -2 self image rules your life. As -2 brain is a complete disconnect from reality the result is a -2 life. At -1 life is -1. At +1 life is +1 and at +2 life is +2. So to have a +2 life make your self image +2. Create the best possible fulcrum for your life. have the power.

Even at -2 level there is always a very important silver lining. It is that the brain and mind struggle against each other to take control of the self image. As the brain is a mussel it exercises more and the % of the brain cells that are active are far more. So a -2 brain uses much more of the brain than a normal +1. The -2 self image is the exercise excuse for the brain. So the brain at -2 is the most powerful, though in a negative way. If this extra exercised brain is diverted towards the arts then sometimes the results are spectacular. Keep this in mind if you have a -2 person in your circle. Divert his attention to becoming an artist. Also introduce love into his brain by getting him a pet especially a dog. When families have dogs they tend to show that they all own the dog. This is OK if all the members are normal or super normal. If you have a -2 or -1 family member show that the dog/pet belongs to this person exclusively. Thus love will enter his brain with all its benefits.

A -1 brain has a similar struggle for the control of the self image on a lesser degree. This mind should be diverted in a similar fashion. And the pet too should belong to this person.

Even at +1 there is a lesser struggle. So the mind becomes even more powerful if you change your self image from +1 to +2.

Disc Decompression therpay

Between the bones of the spine (vertebrae) there is soft tissue which acts like a shock absorber. Through injury or other causes, some patients have had this material compressed, distorting the shape of the disc and causing the material to create pressure on surrounding nerves (neural impingement). Several conditions may cause such neural impingement, including spinal stenosis, disc herniation, or, rarely, tumors.

Disc decompression is a surgical procedure performed to alleviate pain caused by pinched nerves. In this procedure, a small portion of the bone over the nerve root and/or disc material from under the nerve root is removed. This gives the nerve root more space and provide a better healing environment.

There are two common types of decompression procedures:

• Microdiscectomy (or micro-decompression)
• Laminectomy (or open decompression)

With modern spine surgery techniques, both procedures can usually be done with reduced post-operative discomfort and a high degree of success in alleviating low back pain and/or leg pain.

The microdiscectomy procedure

A small portion of the bone over the nerve and/or disc material from under the nerve root is removed to relieve neural impingement and provide room for the nerve to heal. A microdiscectomy is typically performed for lumbar herniated disc.

A microdiscectomy surgery is more effective for treating leg pain than for lower back pain. The impingement on the nerve root can cause substantial leg pain, and while it may take weeks or months for the nerve root to fully heal and numbness or weakness get better, patients normally feel relief from leg pain almost immediately after a microdiscectomy surgery. Microdiscectomy surgery is typically recommended for patients who have experienced leg pain for at least six weeks and have not found sufficient pain relief with conservative treatment such as oral steroids, NSAID's, and physical therapy.

Importantly, since almost all of the joints, ligaments and muscles are left intact, a microdiscectomy does not change the mechanical structure of the patient's lower spine (lumbar spine).

Usually, a microdiscectomy procedure is performed on an outpatient basis or with one overnight stay in the hospital. Post-operatively, patients may return to a normal level of daily activity quickly.

The laminectomy procedure

A lumbar laminectomy is a surgical procedure that is performed to alleviate pain caused by neural impingement. The laminectomy surgery is designed to remove a small portion of the bone over the nerve root and/or disc material from under the nerve root to give the nerve root more space and a better healing environment.

A laminectomy is effective in decreasing pain and improve functions for patients with lumbar spinal stenosis, a condition that primarily afflicts elderly patients and is caused by degenerative changes that result in enlargement of the facet joints. The enlarged joints then place pressure on the nerves.

The surgical results for a laminectomy are much better for relief of leg pain caused by spinal stenosis, and not nearly as reliable for relief of lower back pain. Although removing the lamina and part of the facet joint can create more room for the nerve roots it does not eliminate the arthritis. Unfortunately, symptoms may recur after several years as the degenerative process that originally produced the spinal stenosis continues.

LASE

LASE stands for "Laser Discectomy", a procedure where laser light is used to correct problems with discs in the spine. The procedure is common and less invasive than other alternatives.

After sedation, a miniature endoscope with a laser fiber is carefully inserted into the disc while remaining outside the spinal canal. A laser is used to remove disc tissue near the herniated site in order to decompress the disc. The procedure takes approximately one hour. Success rates are seen in about 66 - 75% of all patients who have this procedure.

The incision through the skin is less than 1/4 inch. The LASE endoscope allows your doctor to see the bulging disc tissue and remove it with the laser fiber. By removing some of the nucleus from the disc, the pressure on the nerve is reduced or eliminated along with the pain.

LASE -bridges the gap between conservative therapy and surgery for the treatment of contained herniated discs. The LASE procedure is a cost-effective, minimally-invasive treatment for those patients who prefer to avoid conventional back surgery. LASE often provides relief from the pain and a fast return to routine activities. Because it is minimally-invasive, it is appropriate for many patients whose health or age may exclude them from more aggressive surgical intervention.

Want stand tall? Then sit straight!

Fixing one's posture requires discipline and persistence. Mind Your Body lists some tips to help you along:

1: Reverse your routine
If you slouch all the time, try sitting or standing up straight as long as you can and then slouch for short intervals to relax.

The more you practice, the easier it will be to maintain proper posture for longer periods, said physiotherapist Farzad Hafezi of Documentation Based Care Singapore.

2: Work smart:

Occupational therapist Chen Hui Wen from Changi General Hospital shares this advice:

Adjust the height of the chair you use in the office so your table is at elbow level. This will help you avoid hunching at work.

Keep your chair close to your desk to avoid having to lean over.

Make sure your feet stay flat on the ground while you are seated. Use a foot rest for support if necessary.

Place a cushion in the small of your back if your chair does not have back support.

Take frequent short breaks. No matter how ergonomically correct your work station is, the human body is not meant to stay in one position for too long.

3: Set yourself visual reminders:

Use small coloured stickers as visual reminders to sit or stand up straight.

You can stick these on places like the corner of your laptop screen, on your watch or your mirrors at home, said Mr Farzad.

4: Stretch

Rounded, or forward slouching, shoulders can result when one's tight chest muscles pull the weaker upper back muscles forward, said Mr Farzad.

Stretch these muscles by pulling your shoulder blades back and holding them there for a few seconds. Repeat sets of this process throughout the day. More simple posture exercises can also be found at: www.wikihow.com/improve-your-posture

5: Tape your back

Get into a proper posture position and stick an 'X' across your upper back using medical tape.

This way, when you start to slouch or when your shoulders drop, the tug felt can serve as a reminder to straighten your back again, said Mr Farzad.

Sitting straight boosts your confidence!

Sitting up straight isn’t just good for your posture - it also gives you more confidence in your own thoughts, says a new study.

Researchers found that people who were told to sit up straight were more likely to believe thoughts they wrote down in that posture, regarding their fitness for a job.

On the other hand, those who were slumped over their desks were less likely to accept these written-down feelings about their own qualifications.

The results, based on a study of 71 students at Ohio State University (OSU), show how our body posture can affect not only what others think about us, but also how we think about ourselves, said Richard Petty, study co-author and OSU psychology professor.

“Most of us were taught that sitting up straight gives a good impression to other people,” Petty said.

“But it turns out that our posture can also affect how we think about ourselves. If you sit up straight, you end up convincing yourself by the posture you’re in,” Petty added.

The research was published in the October issue of the European Journal of Social Psychology.

Control Your Pain

What Is Pain?

Pain has been characterized in a variety of ways. There are physical definitions such as an unpleasant sensation; a warning that something is wrong; or the body's response to a thermal, chemical, or mechanical injury. There are also definitions that attempt to provide a meaning or explanation. For example, pain is a punishment; it lets the body know it is alive; it is a teacher helping to modify future behavior; or it is "all in one's head."

Two definitions have become particularly influential among health care providers, educators, and researchers. The International Association for the Study of Pain (IASP) proposes that pain is an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage. Margo McCaffery suggested as early as 1968 the widely accepted definition, "Pain is whatever the experiencing person says it is, existing whenever the experiencing person say it does" (McCaffery and Beebe 1989, p. 7). Both definitions point to the fact that pain is much more than tissue damage that triggers a response from the nervous system. The management of pain therefore involves more than treating the tissue injury. The individual's cultural background, present circumstances, and state of mind all require assessment and attention. It has become clear that cultural learning leads to differences in the way that people express pain. Furthermore, it is also becoming increasingly accepted among the medical community that, in contrast to previous medical beliefs, children feel pain even when they are too young to express it effectively. Elderly people may also have different, less obvious, ways of expressing pain, especially if affected by Alzheimer's disease. Health care providers are therefore improving their expertise in recognizing signs of pain across a broad span of patients.

How Does Pain Work?

Research about pain is still limited, but is going forward on many fronts. A major focus is the search for a molecular description of how a pain stimulus is signaled to the brain and how the brain signals its response. Until that process has been firmly identified, caregivers and researchers can utilize the following overview of pain pathways.

Cell damage occurs. Proteins trigger specific channels that set off the pain signal. As chemicals are released the area becomes inflamed and swollen. Identification of the specific pain channels may lead to the development of highly selective local anesthetics with reduced side effects for the rest of the body.

When the tissue damage threshold is reached, nerve fibers in the area carry a message to the spinal column. There are three types of nerve fibers, each of which has a distinctive role in producing pain sensations. Small, myelinated fibers known as A delta carry localized and sharp thermal and mechanical impulses to the neospinothalamic tract. The small, unmyelinated C fibers carry aching, throbbing, burning, dull, unlocalized messages to the paleospinothalamic tract and on to the brain stem and thalamus. A beta fibers, which are large and myelinated, serve to inhibit impulses from the A delta and C fibers, thereby modulating the number and intensity of impulses sent up the spinal tracts.

The physiologist Patrick Wall, one of the world's foremost authorities on pain, describes what happens in the dorsal horn of the spinal cord, "If the input message comes only from the large A beta fibers as a result of touch, the cell fires briefly and then is turned off. If, however, the input volley comes from tissue damage detection fibers, A delta and C, the cell fires more vigorously and exaggerates the output. During all this time, the brain is sending down control messages to amplify, diminish, or ignore the signal" (Wall 2000, p. 40). An example of this occurs when hitting one's shin on a sharp object. The immediate response is to reach down and rub the area. The rubbing message is carried by the A beta fibers closing the gate to messages from the A delta and C fibers.

Once in the spinal cord the messages cross to the opposite side of the spinal column. Next they travel upward through the spinothalamic tract, conveying information about the nature and location of the stimulus to the thalamus, cerebral cortex, and spinoreticular tract. This process activates autonomic and limbic (motivational-affective) responses in the brain stem and thalamus. Messages descend the spinal cord as a result of these responses.

It is in the brain stem and the cerebral cortex that the pain messages are analyzed. Here the body meets the mind. While little research is available, there are theories and some pieces of the puzzle to suggest what is happening.

Endorphins. Endorphins are important pieces of the puzzle. Scientists know something of the body's defenses against pain. Some neuropeptides, such as Substance P, appear to be pain specific transmitters. Other peptides, such as the endorphins and enkephalins, provide profound analgesic (pain-relieving) effects. Morphine and other opioid medications were in use long before the opioid receptor sites in neural tissue were discovered in the 1970s. The word endorphin was coined as a contraction to the terms endogenous (meaning "a natural property of the body") and morphine. Methods to turn on secretion of the endorphins have been studied. Massaging or moving a painful part may owe some of its effectiveness to stimulating endorphin production. The "runner's high," a good feeling as a result of exercise, has also been attributed to endorphin release.

Placebo response. Less well explained is the "placebo effect." This occurs when a treatment produces an effect primarily because of its intent rather than its specific therapeutic physical or chemical properties (e.g., taking a pill that actually contains no medicine). People sometimes report that they feel better even though they have had only the expectation and appearance of a treatment. The double-blind research technique that pits a new drug against an inactive substance has been developed to offset the placebo effect. The placebo would be expected to produce no effects. In actuality, however, placebo users frequently report positive effects. An important aspect of the placebo effect seems to be that the person trusts the person administering the treatment and believes that the treatment will be effective. The placebo effect can be a useful supplement to therapeutic treatment but its effectiveness differs markedly from person to person and is not entirely reliable.

Both the presence of endorphins and the well-documented placebo response point to the power of the mind-body connection in pain management.

Use of Noninvasive Pain Control Measures

The first methods of pain control probably included stimulation of the skin with heat, cold, massage, and vibration, all of which have the ability to relieve pain without causing injury, at a low cost, and with little experience. Other types of stimulation of the skin include massage with mentholbased lotions, transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation (an electrical current administered through skin patches), and acupressure (gentle pressure applied to acupuncture points).

Rubbing a bumped shin or applying a cool cloth to a forehead works to relieve discomfort. A parent's kiss to make everything "all better" helps a child through a painful experience. It reminds the individual that the presence of a loved one has a role in relieving pain.

Assisting the patient to focus attention on stimuli other than pain is another effective noninvasive pain control measure. Because the pain stimulus does not go away, but instead becomes "more bearable," this strategy has the advantage of being under the patient's control. It is also inexpensive. Many patients use the distraction strategy without realizing it by watching television, reading, doing crossword puzzles, listening to music, or attending to the company of friends and relatives. Meditation and guided visual imagery are also in this group of therapies. A disadvantage is that the existence of the pain may be doubted by others if the patient can be distracted. Distraction requires concentration and may drain the energy resources of the patient, perhaps leading to increased fatigue and irritability. The method is particularly effective for brief painful episodes.

Freedom from skeletal muscle tension and anxiety produces the relaxation response, characterized by specific physiological responses (decreased oxygen consumption, decreased respiratory rate, decreased heart rate, decreased muscle tension, normal blood pressure, and increased alpha brain waves) and a lowering of the subjective sense of distress. Conscious attempts can be made to interrupt the cycle of pain that leads to anxiety and muscle tension with increased pain as a result. The relaxation response requires active patient involvement. Many patients need specific instruction to invoke the relaxation response effectively. Some techniques include deep breathing exercises, jaw relaxation, review of peaceful past experiences, and a meditative or progressive relaxation script or tape.

Use of medication. While the noninvasive therapies are useful for mild pain, they should be considered supplements to the effective management of moderate to severe pain. Moderate to severe pain are often treated with medication and invasive pain control measures.

The World Health Organization developed the "analgesic ladder" to illustrate a systematic plan for the use of pain medication. Mild pain is treated with medications such as aspirin, acetominophen, and non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs). Maximum recommended doses of these drugs restrict amounts in order to prevent toxicity and damage to the liver and kidneys. As pain increases, opioids such as oxycodone may be used. Severe pain requires morphine or other long-acting opioids. The dose is matched to the pain level. Although there are side effects to these drugs, the amount of drug is not limited. If pain level increases, the route by which the medication is given may change from the slower acting oral route to a faster route, whether transdermal, transmucosal, or intravenous. It is important to avoid routes that actually cause pain, such as intramuscular injection.

For continuous pain, medical practitioners often maintain that continuous pain medication should be available. This requires drugs that are long acting and given on a continuous schedule. The goal is to keep pain in check, rather than waiting until it is out of control before administering more medication.

Side effects of the drugs should be anticipated and prevented. The most common and preventable side effect of the opioids is constipation. Prevention includes adequate fluid and fiber intake and the possible use of stool softeners and laxatives.

It is important to remember that withstanding pain uses energy. When pain is first adequately relieved with medication, the patient may sleep for an extended period of time. This sleeping does not indicate that too much medication is being taken, it means that the person's body is recuperating and regaining energy. This sleepiness can lead family and caregivers to fear that the disease is progressing or that too much medication is being given. If the person arouses easily, then it is an indication that he or she is not taking too much medication.

Self-Management Concept

The fear of unrelieved pain raises anxiety for terminally ill patients and their families. Many caregivers remember instances when they felt helpless in the face of pain. Giving the patient information about pain leads to better pain control and lowered anxiety. The confidence that pain will remain in control and the continued presence of the health care provider can go a long way to assure that pain will not be an issue at the end of life.

The patient plays a significant role in providing information about the pain and in selecting and using diverse pain control methods. The patient is the best judge of the adequacy of control. Caregivers may hear statements such as the following that express personal preference:

• "It is okay if I only have pain when I move."
• "I want to continue to be up and walking, so I will need more medication."
• "A warm shower, meditation, and pain medication at bedtime helps me get a good night's sleep."
• "I just want to have no pain. I don't care if all I do is sleep."

The adequacy of pain control can be judged by the patient's feeling of comfort and ability to participate in activities of daily living. The goal of complete freedom from pain may not be achievable.

Fear of addiction is often an issue with pain control, especially when opioids are used. Psychological dependence is a pattern of compulsive drug use characterized by a continued craving for an opioid and the need to use the opioid for effects other than pain relief. Addiction resulting from medical treatment regimen is extremely rare. On the other hand, the need to increase doses over time is not uncommon because of tolerance for the drug or changes in the disease process. Other drugs may be added to the regime. Medical practitioners cite the importance of not abruptly stopping the medications.

Health care providers themselves may be a barrier. It is important to seek out providers who believe the pain is real, who are willing to provide diverse approaches to the pain, and who plan for continued contact. Concerns about providing sufficient medication to relieve pain without precipitating the death of a terminally ill person should be discussed openly. If large doses of opioids are required, the physician may be hesitant to order them and nurses may be reluctant to administer the needed dose because the actions might be considered performing euthanasia or assisting suicide. The line between relieving pain and hastening death may not be clear. Patients can help with the ethical issues by making their wishes clear and by seeking the assistance of a like-minded counselor or medical professional in explaining their preferences.

Pain Management: The Future

Research concerning the physiologic mechanisms of pain continues in the early twenty-first century. These research efforts will most likely reveal new, more specific pain control measures. In the meantime, the controversy between governmental control of opioids to prevent abuse and the need for opioid use for pain relief continues. Professional care providers need education and organizational support that establishes standards and accountability for pain management. A recent initiative to require that pain be assessed as often as the patient's temperature, heart rate, respiratory rate, and blood pressure are taken provides a starting place for standards and accountability. Dissemination of information about pain-relieving drugs and other interventions remains crucial to quick, effective responses to pain. Access to analgesic medication and pain is crucial. Paying for the cost of health care should not become a barrier to pain management. Professionals must continue to advocate for patients in pain as American society struggles to afford health care for the entire population.

The public should be appropriately educated about pain and pain relief if it is to advocate for the use of pain medications. Fears that medication will cause addiction and the inability to experience and control life decisions prevents use of some effective pain measures. Patients' fear of stigma if they offer complaints of pain can keep providers from understanding patients' extent of pain and thus appropriately treating it.

Researchers and leading edge practitioners agree that people in pain can be empowered by knowing what to expect from health professionals in relation to pain management. Assessment of the pain and its causes is the first step. Professionals should seek a clear understanding of the meaning of the pain to the patient and family. Multiple approaches to the pain can be recommended. Concerns about addiction and other effects of the controls measure can be addressed through patient education and referral to pain specialists. The knowledge, skills, and tools exist to meet the goal that no one should die in pain.

Read more: http://www.deathreference.com/Nu-Pu/Pain-and-Pain-Management.html#ixzz0XTTh6SQt

How To Make a Speech

Some people would prefer to dive over a cliff than make a speech. They conjure up all kinds of nightmare scenarios: What if I freeze? What if the audience hates me on sight? What if no one laughs except in places they shouldn't? Will everyone remember the mistakes I make for the rest of my life?

And yet, by learning a few techniques used by professional speakers -- who are very often the most scared of all -- you can not only conquer your nerves, you can also make a powerful impression and within seconds, actually start to enjoy the whole experience. Here's how.

First, check how you look. Dress appropriately, and be well groomed, so you feel comfortable and smart. Dressing professionally also helps the audience feel you've taken trouble for them and that they are respected. But make sure you don't go too far and unintentionally distract them, for example, with a man's flashy tie or a woman's low neckline.

1. Opening nerves. Here are some techniques that will help you feel more comfortable and relaxed when you start.
   
   • Before you go on, chat to people in your audience. It will help create a warmer, more friendly atmosphere.
   • As you're waiting to be announced, repeat your opening sentence three or four times to distract you from your nervousness and to give you the confidence of a sure start.
   • To help relax from head to toe, take three deep slow breaths - in through nose - out through mouth with your hand on your stomach as it expands and contracts.
   • When starting, pause for 1-2 seconds to establish yourself.
   • Stand upright and relaxed.
   • Pleasantly acknowledge a friendly face nearby.
   • Smile. Smiling shows warmth for the audience and is rarely misinterpreted.
2. Contact.
   • Make eye contact with the audience, momentarily from one to another as a way of showing interest in them.
   • Engage with animated listeners - but not too much.
   • Scan the audience, and don't miss anyone, anywhere, ever.
   • Occasionally start a sentence looking at one section of the audience and finish looking at another section.
   • Too shy to look straight at individuals? Until your confidence grows, try looking at the spaces between them.
3. Speaking technique.
   • Recall how you talk to your mother, girlfriend or boyfriend, chief financial officer or boss. It's usually different for each. So imagine that someone who loves and appreciates you is listening. Start out by imagining you're talking to them.
   • Successful speakers project energy and conviction. They have to if they are to hold their audience from start to finish. They also know that if they stop concentrating on the words and the thread of their speech, so will the audience.
   • Believe what you say and deliver it with conviction and passion. The audience will sense if you're not sincere.
4. Delivery. These suggestions may feel unnatural when you first try them, but you can see just how effective they are by listening to the phrasing of top presenters on TV and radio. Notice how they:
   • Emphasize key words in every sentence. So when you go through your speech, you will find it useful to underline a number of verbs and adjectives in each of your sentences to remind you to give them extra ‘punch.'
     • Don't drop your head when reading speech (many speakers type their speech only on the top half of pages).
     • Don't turn your back on audience.
     • Don't play with a pen or pointer.
     • Don't grip table or lectern.
     • Don't bend towards microphone (adjust its height).
     • Don't lean towards your notes.
     • Don't stare fixedly at notes or visual aids.
     • Don't fidget: Touch face, tie, lapel, etc.
   • And when it's all over . . .smile.
     

     (Unless the occasion's not appropriate....) It tells the audience that you've done your best, that you've enjoyed your talk and are confident they've enjoyed it too, that they're a great audience who've responded well. All that from just a smile? Sure, but it's what's behind the smile (learning and using the above) that's the real secret
   • http://www.howtodothings.com/business/how-to-make-a-speech
     

I am a Warrior

Within each one of us there is a warrior waiting to be unleashed, most of us get the same idea when we say the word warrior, it became a popular commodity representing famous action figures and wide screen heroes but, we never think about what that specific word means and the idea that could change our lives radically, the idea that we are all nothing less than warriors.
We grew up on tales of heroes and great leaders who gave every thing including their own lives for a great cause, some of us witnessed war, death, fear, courage and epics, some of us are heroes by the common meaning of the word, army men, police men, front line soldiers or extraordinary people who did magnificent deeds.
We all appreciate and admire those warriors who fought for what they believed in and didn't back up and never surrendered, the ones we hope our children would be as great or even close in a way or another but, that doesn't mean that a warrior's place can only be a warfare battlefield, in fact we are all warriors and we all have our battlefields, doctors and scientists fight diseases every single day, teachers and professors fight ignorance every single day and many examples that tends to infinity.
I believe that you don't have to be a soldier, a teacher, a doctor, or a politician to be a warrior, deep inside every one there is a warrior fighting every day, the battlefields may vary but, still they are all battlefields.
A warrior is the real definition of sacrifice and ever lasting immortality, a warrior is a creature defined by higher laws and codes, driven by his passion to a cause, distinguished among others by his devotion and loyalty to that cause and by his ability to go on and never give up.
Every one of us is a warrior as long as he believes in his cause, his sword is his devotion and commitment, his spear is his knowledge and wisdom, his armor is his hope and faith, his shield is his unbreakable determination and his cause is his home to die for, the one that he believes that struggling for is a great virtue, a virtue fit for saints and kings, a virtue worth fighting for.
I encourage every one to awake the warrior within, you are already in the fight, so get up and make your stand, be noticed, be recognized, be remembered and be for ever alive in the eyes of those who witnessed your fight, be for all times the true figure of a warrior.
Fight for what is right, for what is beautiful, for what is great and for what is important, fight for yourself and for your loved ones, fight your bad habits, fight smoking, fight your addiction, fight your greed, fight your dark side and let your inner light prevail, help yourself and others who need help, break your limits, fight for the weak and the needy as certainly some day others will fight for you.
So that you can say " I am a warrior"
This is how I see it, this is my cause.
Demarco,
This article is from: http://breakyourlimits-demarco.blogspot.com/

Know What's Important

We all have eyes, we all can see but can we really see through? Can we penetrate the walls of deception?
Every day we blindfold ourselves, we become unable to see what's really important and what's not, most of us became shallow and inconsiderate.

We keep ourselves from loved ones, the most important people in our lives, family and friends, brothers and sisters, wives and daughters, the ones that really matter. We blindfold ourselves with formality and keeping all the time busy trying to succeed, demonstrating the true essence of selfishness and being the center of the world.

Some people think that career comes before family, I say who gave you the right to think that way? If it weren't for your family, you wouldn't have had a career, you wouldn't even be there, a man without a family, is a plant without roots, easy to be broken, nothing to support it.
We were created on Earth as successors of God, to spread his word and multiply, to fill the land with goodness and prosperity. That's our role in our lives, to be a family.

So, take a moment and think, when was the last time you saw your parents? When was the last time you checked on your daughter? Did you even attend your son's birthday? Did you even see your grandson?

All of those and many more questions which I ask to children, parents and grandparents.
Can you really handle being alone? A question for the son who never calls his old man, can you handle being neglected by your children; because believe me, you will get old and tired and you might end up all alone just like your old man, as they say "What goes around comes around."

On the other hand, I am dying to know why would a parent abandon his child? I mean what did that weak creature do to deserve this? Why were you threaten by his presence?
How could a human be that selfish?
Humans are distinguished among other creatures by on thing; humanity!
If we don't take care of our own, then we become animals and savage, living for the purpose of surviving.

Is it so hard to pick up the phone and say hi to your son? You will never experience the pleasure of living unless you have lived for a purpose, so why can't this purpose be your family?
we all know that every one is a king in his house, a Sheppard responsible for his followers, for his family, so you must be up to the task and support your family by all means, besides it's so fulfilling and comfortable to go to bed knowing that your family are safe and sound because you did your contribution even if it was very small, it might not be that small in the eyes of your loved ones.

Take care of your own, watch each others' backs, feel the warmth of a family, your family.
Demarco

Start Making a Difference

In our lives we witness sorrow and joy sadness and depression ups and downs, we witness a new tragedy unfold in front of our eyes every single moment, but what do we do? How would we act?

Is it so hard to take a stand and do your part? I don't think so. In fact there are a lot of people who gave their lives helping the needy, the poor and the sick, man or woman, elder or infant.

Some how there always seem to be a way out, like it was already written and meant to be. Some how God created those people to be the saviors of those who need to be saved, never the less that will never be enough, those who need your help can't depend on the very few that made their stand.

All of us need to speak to ourselves to the inner good that we were basically born with, the kind of instincts that drives us towards doing what we were meant to do, our purpose in life which is:

"Standing up for each other"

We can take it step by step until we can do our part, until each and every one of us can get the satisfaction of sleeping at night knowing that he did something good, that he supplied a need or even drew a smile on a child's face.

Step 1:

The first thing you need to do is to look at the mirror thoroughly and think: "What do I have that I can give up? When can I spare some time for the cause? Am I really committed of it's just a fling?

You will have to break your limits and get out of your shell.

Step 2:

Ask your questions, get your answers and switch from looking at yourself to looking around you, see things with new eyes, look deep into your surroundings, I assure you that you will definitely find someone who needs your help, the old neighbor, the little kid, the homeless guy or even your own family a near or distant relative.

Step 3:

Choose the best way you can be of help depending on your expertise and skills and give it your best shot. Start with something small, something you can commit to and perform on regular bases, but nothing big for starters.

Step 4:

Like we mentioned before the key word to this thing is commitment, you don't want to fail someone depending on you, so I say hold your horses and don't involve yourself in something you can't handle as it is a huge responsibility, now hold on I didn't mean to scare you away, on the contrary I am warning you because I know the overwhelming warm satisfying feelings you will get after doing your first good deed, the feelings that will drive you to make others an others and that's in fact the goal we seek to achieve, but it must be taken step by step; for you not lose your commitment.

Step 5:

Now that you took your stand and made it clear that every body must do his part, you need to ask other people to join your case and you need to spread the word, the life style we seek and our own utopia that many have dreamed of over the ages, the one we have a chance to create and live in.

We need to be their for each other, so start doing it

This article is from: http://breakyourlimits-demarco.blogspot.com/

Thank you,

Demarco